modern monopoly

Inspired by this post, I thought i'd pen some thoughts about a modern version of monopoly for Singapore.

Firstly, instead of railway stations, there is a chance card that decrees one property of yours be taken over for public transport with compensation by the bank (based on market value)(there may be some fixed public transport stations). That may sound like a bad thing, but it also means that all neighbouring properties and houses appreciate in value by 0.X number of times (determined by double dice throw, so maximum amount of appreciation capped at 1.2 times the market value).

There will be no more free parking space (hellooooo, this is Singapore leh), instead by purchasing the property, you have the option of building a multistory carpark (number of stories = number of houses, with increasing rents).

Instead of luxury tax, there is income tax everytime you pass go. This is calculated based on your perceived income per round, matched with the appropriate income tax bracket. Also, purchase of any house/hotel is subject to stamp duty payable to the bank.

After winning the beauty contest (used to get $20 remember?) in chance/community chest, you have to say "Boomz" each time you want to collect rent.

If you are ever caught speeding in your car (throwing doubles three times in a row), after you get out of jail, you are banned from driving for 3 rounds, afterwhich have to retake your (expensive) driving test.....and you probably will not pass the first time (you must throw double six to pass).

Singapore's economy

When i first heard the news on the radio this morning, i was a bit concerned because it was reported that the rate of inflation has been revised from 1.5-2% to 2.5-3% (with the increase in COE taking responsibility).

Then saw this article on Asiaone, which made me chuckle when i read the following:

Singapore manages monetary policy by letting the its dollar rise or fall in
a undisclosed band against a secret trade-weighted basket of currencies of its
main trading partners.

Because it had neglected add that said monetary policy was guarded managed by hidden grey ninjas in an anonymous building at an unidentified part of Singapore.

sometimes....

I can't believe what i say, but it makes me laugh out loud to think about it. A big ups to the wifely person (WP) for putting up with me nonsense. Thanks dear. *mwah*

[shopping for diapers in the supermarket]
wp: Do you see any "L"?
z: it must be Christmas....
wp: eh?
z: because there is Noel.
wp: . . .

[chatting online about driving in Italy]
j: do i need IDP to drive in Italy?
z: they won't check for IDP when you're renting a car. Only the cops will ask for it when they stop you, but dunno what happens if no IDP....maybe they make you eat pasta with no sauce or something.
j: no they make me eat the sauce without pasta
z: LOL, yah special Italian white sauce! *facepalm*

Quick link (politics)

Came across an interesting article on politics in Singapore, particularly after the 2011 General Elections. I think this curious desynch gap between what is written online and what actually happens on the ground is closing. The online rhetoric is toning down with more intelligent comments and suggestions being put forth, while voters are more willing to exercise their choice of what they want in their leader. As the voter population evolves: more people being able to vote, past achievements will not be forgotten, but will have less emphasis than what the promised future will be. It is not that they are ungrateful or pro-opposition?

In an ideal world, we would also do away with the GRC system and have all single seat constiuencies. This would remove a chunk of the resentment that this rather cumbersome system has generated, and allow voters to feel represented. The only issue with this system is the level of uncertainty, and aside from causing sleepless nights for all involved (less so for voters, but still) this might cause some foreigners to lose business confidence.

Stun gun (not) fun

Was reading the news online when this article caught my eye thanks to its eyecatching *groan* headline: Police fire stun gun at naked foreigner in Geylang

Reading the article itself, i couldn't help but notice that there was no mention of the guy's clothing (or lack thereof), nor any mention about where he was hit. Would be interesting to combine these two facts and assume he was hit with a Taser in the unmentionables. LOL

Even if we give him the benefit of doubt, and say that maybe due to a communication breakdown, he thought $8 secures him the room for the day (and night?) but how unlikely is that? Who charges $8 for a room these days anyways? He must have been very tired and just wanted a half an hour powernap.....at 8am in the morning. *facepalm*

This is also the first time i've seen the use of the stun gun in Singapore reported in the media. =)

AsiaOneMonday, Nov 14, 2011
Police yesterday used a Taser stun gun on a Caucasian man who charged at an officer in Geylang.
Staff of a Geylang lodging house had requested for assistance after the 34-year-old man, believed to be Russian, overstayed in a room.
The New Paper reported that he had checked in at 8am with a woman and paid $8 to stay for half an hour. The police were called at about 9.30am after the man insisted on staying on even after staff informed him that his time was up. When the police arrived, the man became violent and charged at one of them.
According to The Straits Times, a police spokesperson said the man intended to cause hurt and continued to use violence and attempted to hit the officer despite police advice.
A Taser gun was then discharged at the man to ensure the safety of the officer and the public. He was later arrested for use of criminal force against a public servant. The man was also taken to Tan Tock Seng Hospital in a conscious state. He was discharged at 12.30pm and driven to a police station.
According to The Straits Times, the Singapore Police Force first bought Taser X26 stun guns in 2005. The weapon uses electrical currents to immobilise a person by shooting two barbed darts that hook onto a suspect's skin or clothes. The barbs then send a 50,000-volt electric current through the body for five seconds, temporarily incapacitating the person by inducing involuntary muscle contractions.

dancing at work

Was on the way from the bathroom when i encountered someone in the hallway and for a brief awkward moment, we did the awkward hallway shuffle.

This happens when engineers walking in opposite directions meet in a corridor or doorway, one would move to his (yes, engineer = male, i'm not sexist, i'm just stereotyping, it's faster) left and the other would move to his right, ends up both shuffling in a common direction, then change direction at the same time, which leads them to share a common direction again. In the meantime, the gap between us is closing quickly and there is a brief moment of shared panic on our faces when we realise imminent collision is close when at the last moment, one of us stops moving altogether, and we continue on our seperate non-colliding paths. I think next time, i'll just fake a move one direction then quickly dive to the other way, into a forward roll, then stand up and raise my arms up. Tah-dah!

In other random bits, the following bit of conversation i had with an old friend:
J: i always related our friendship to be like wine.... gets better with age
z: some wines can be corked you know hahahahaha
J: YES.... faintz haha!!
z: damn corks screw everything up

This is why....

this guy and I get along like a house on fire....

I sent this link to him to an NZ Herald article on Ireland's victory over Australia at the 2011 Rugby World Cup "Rugby World Cup: Kidney has big stake in Ireland stunner"

z: Not just found in corduroy pillows…..
m: I’d have worked in the use of “pie” in that headline…
z: “Steak and Kidney 3.142” just doesn’t square up.....
m: It should. Don’t you know pie are square?
z: Not just that, but according to Pirate folklore if you go once around it adds up, to pie Arrrr.
m: Now you’re just leeding me round in circles, peg leg notwithstanding.

FYI 19 Sep (the date of this conversation) was International Talk like a Pirate Day. =)

Also, this is why workmate and I do not really talk:
Because of the Subway one-for-one offer, the following conversation ensued with workmate(wm)

wm: ok so you buying subway?
me: yes, what do you want?
wm: chicken i guess.
me: on what bread?
wm: the long one.
me: eh? what type is that? Like Italian, Honey Oat, etc. Check out the Subway website.
wm: ok. I'll have the vinaigrette.
me: *facepalm*

conversation conundrums

We've been having some issues with our ceiling, as the paint has cracked and a stain has appeared. Possible leak from the outside? We don't know.

So i was chatting with ww on gmail and asking her whether the guy has arrived....
ww: He came
z: He saw,
z: He concurred?

Which reminds me of the famous phrase in Jingo: Veni Vidi Vetinari
Although also in the book is the phrase: Veni, Vermini, Vomini LOL!

Which was what i wanted to do after i managed to pwn myself. First the wife sends me the link for cute diapers, and my first thought (understandably, since i'm a guy) was "Ha! All these silly parents! Paying good money for design over functionality". But then my second and third thoughts kicked in, which were "I wonder how was my offspring look in that", followed by "OMG, i've so got to get me a pack of those, just to see how cute she looks in it". I'm so ashamed of myself, but i'm still amused (and i might still buy them!) LOL

doggie IQ

I read this post on my (now) favourite blog/comic/cartoon/entertainmment/light reading/i need to laugh moment and was reminded that Jeanie took the same test and did pretty well. No, i'm not crowing or lording it up, i think that however smart or silly your dog is, they are still lovable all the same and nothing can make them waver from their fierce loyalty....except maybe biscuits or treats if they're partial to that......but still, a loyalty that is unmatched. Try that with a cat. LOL

Speaking of Jeanie, she turns 13 this year, and needless to say, we're very happy for her. Her bout with tick fever 5 years ago has faded into a distant memory, and aside from some slowing down (especially on the stairs), she's still the same cheeky bright-eyed dog who always has a wag in her tail for us, and a kiss if we wanted. Ah, i miss her so now. =)

Hyphen-abuse Alert

Or better know by its acronym, HA!

Saw this article on asiaone reporting on the-best-units-of-the-SAF and one particular paragraph caught-my-eye:

The squadron operates the F-15SG all-weather multi-role fighter, which is equipped with state-of-the-art avionics and a sophisticated integrated sensor suite, and provides the third-generation SAF with enhanced air-defence and air-superiority capabilities.

Holy-crap! Is it the style of new age writing these days to incorporate morse code into their sentences by balancing out the dots (periods) with dashes? I have one thing to say about it: I-don't-like-it.

The definition and usage of hyphens are readily available online. Technically, the writer is correct using hyphens in the paragraph, however it is really an eyesore. Which brings us to another bug bear of mine: the semi-colon. Many people fear to use it, some use it wrongly, others just treat it like a comma; everyone should just check out this easy-to-understand poster from the oatmeal.

Social Mobility

Read a touching article from a UK newspaper online (props to mrbrown).

The key to social mobility is having a devoted and determined family
Because, to my mind, social engineering isn't the best way to propel a child out of a council estate and onto better things. There is a much more effective solution — and my friends and I are living proof of it.
I didn't end up eating £100 steaks because someone put a 'Poor Kid' sign around my neck and sent me to be taught with the children of millionaires.
No, I got there thanks to my mum and dad, who worked their socks off to ensure their children were well-fed, well-clothed and well educated.

I can relate very strongly to this and do constantly feel guilty about not spending enough time with my parents, even though they understand that we are busy these days working and raising our little one. I come from a family where only my Dad worked (really hard at times), and thanks to capital gains, managed to put me through university (both degrees, although i did get some help in the form of a 'local' scholarship), for which i am forever grateful. These days I find my broad education in a wide range of technologies a blessing as i talk to engineers, researchers and inventors, because i can understand their tech-speak and relate to them easily. Growing up, i never had to worry about food or clothing, and i got pretty much whatever i wanted. However whatever i wanted was influenced by upbringing and conditioning by my mother, hence i never asked for a holiday to disneyland lol. My parents never held back when it came to my education, whether it be trips to the science centre (however many), or music lessons. In fact, there was a period when my fees per month added to more than $500 (piano, organ and drums) (although for a good time i was on scholarship which did help heh). It is with this background that I can entertain (largely) myself and others (when i play for mass).

Which then leads to, what can our offspring achieve? I think what we have/can achieve is freedom for her. She will have choices which we did not have before, since we were told to pick our degrees (thence professions) with one eye on what we want to do for the rest of our lives, which leads to traditional (boring?) roles like doctor, lawyer, accountant and engineer.

I once discussed about being thankful to my Mum and her reply was that we repay our debt to our parents by bringing up our kids the same way they brought us up, with plenty of love and affection. And to that aim we will strive.

Online celebrity

Interesting article on an online phenomenon on stuff today about a youtube based comedienne (is there such a word) with celebrity status. Anthropologically speaking (i make no Bones of this), observation of this is most facinating. Talking to a friend online about this:

J: what? you want to replicate that?
z: nah, it would be fun but i think looks play a part. sexuality, whether overt or not, sells
J: that has been a advocate of sales all this time... sex sells.... period
z: sex dun sell periods. In fact, periods prevent sale of sex! hahahaha
J: i wish i had a baseball bat here

Cloudy with a chance of.....haze

Every year, we have our friendly smiling neighbours polluting the environment, and every year we go through the same process. Monitor PSI, read the news (and be assured everything is ok), and get updated on measures to protect yourself .

Some points of note though:

• schools in Muar have been forced to close because the PSI index there hit 415, woah. I'm surprised Malaysia hasn't been making more noise about this as well, given that the safety of Malaysians is at risk (can you imagine if Singapore were the one setting the fires? a certain Dr Magneeeto would be having a field day).
• our own PSI index is only moderate since it is below 100 and it becomes dangerous above 301, yet we have lost sight of our city skyline already so i can't imagine if it hits above 301. Probably won't be able to see further than the next block.
• the advice on how to handle the haze sounds more like advice on healthy living, i.e. eat more green leafy veges, oily fish and nuts and eat less dairy products, sugar and red meat.

I think this has gone on long enough, especially if we are providing aid to prevent the fires that cause the haze. What could we do? One of the more extreme measures suggested by a radio DJ is trade sanctions, but this would be a precursor to an armed conflict. We could protest to the UN, the WHO and anyone who would care to listen (couldn't think of another cool acronym lol), but the sternest level of action these organisations could do is say "look, this is bad, don't do it ok?" which is like slapping them on the wrist with a wet bus ticket. More punitive actions should be taken but what exactly is something our ministers have to figure out, and they have to be seen to be doing something, considering elections are just around the corner.

Oh wait, i just thought of something: we can write and appeal to Dear Leader to have it rain on the fires, since he has a magical ability to control the weather! Brilliant!

LOL @ MSK

Just read the article on asiaone regarding the aftermath of Mas Selamat Kastari's escape, and my first reaction to MSK being placed under the "highest-risk" category at the Whitley Road Detention Centre (WRDC) was "No shit!", which made me chuckle at my own humour. Then again when another related article said that MSK's accounts of his escape was unreliable, i mean "No shit Sherlock right?"

So what does highest-risk entail? I think for starters, no more toilet paper for him, but then how? Imagine this scene: MSK visits the toilet to do his business at WRDC for the first time since his return.
"Nothing has changed eh?" He asked the guard conversationally.
"Actually, some this have. Thanks to a WITS project, your new automated system for shit (ASS) has been installed in your personal toilet cubicle made of mirrors (actually one-way glass, but MSK suspects this already). You do your business and then clean up with your finger...."
"Eww."
".....then stick your finger in this hole here where it will be cleaned automatically." explains the guard.
MSK uses the loo, and cleans up after. He hesistates while contemplating about using ASS, but figures why not and sticks his finger into the hole in the wall. Waiting on the other side of the wall is a guard with two bricks, who brings both bricks crashing together, sandwiching MSK's finger. MSK gives an almighty yell and pulls his finger out and sucks on it to ease the pain.
"Tah dah!" says the guard. =)

Doggy blood bank database

I was touched while reading this article on blood banks for dogs and would like to support this by promoting the doggy blood bank database (http://zeusdoggybloodbank.blogspot.com/) ...... to all 5 people who read this blog regularly (lol).

The website is a good one-stop information shop on blood for dogs and makes me wish i had access to a website like this when Jeanie was ill with tick fever (incidentally the same illness that caused the creation of the doggy blood bank database). We were very fortunate to obtain a matching blood type but before that happened, the feeling of helplessness was really daunting. During that period, i was comforted by the number of responses of people either offering to donate their dog's blood or just some words of encouragement, even advertising on our behalf. Many thanks to all again for helping Jeanie recover.

Here's a recent picture of Jeanie for your enjoyment. =)

Ultimate mash-ups

So we're watching quite a bit of tv these days, thanks to our upgraded basic package. Then one day, while watching Bones, i thought it would be really cool if Dr Lightman from Lie to Me helps out with the interviewing of the suspect (although Booth is good at reading people). Which got me thinking of some really funky mash-up i thought would be the ultimate mash-up. One where some major terrorist plot gets NCIS (and NCIS LA) involved in a nationwide hunt, and in the process a very decomposed body was found that needed identification and in steps Dr Brennan (from Bones). Due to the large number of suspects, Dr Lightman interviews and narrows down the list of people to a single suspect, and when further probing and trying to locate him, he turns out to be a serial killer who assumes the identities of his victims and he killed one of the would-be terrorists. So the BAU team from Criminal Minds is called in to profile him so that he can be located. LOL

What ultimate mash-ups would you like to see?

Conversations.....

So am chatting with a friend and this is the following line of conversation ensues. Background: my friend N is from Hong Kong and the kiwi definition of root can be found here.

N: actually will be going to HK next year for the actual family trip...should be awesome
z: nice! get in touch with your roots
N: indeed that's what is exciting me
z: indeed
N: I'm kinda like them but 2 sizes largerI fortunately do not have the anorexic HK male look
z: ah
N: haha
z: you'll be surprised at how large they can be
(this line of conversation is soooo bad)

Updates for the bean bag

I just realised that blogger hadn't been notifying me that i had comments awaiting moderation! Sorry crufty!

Interestingly enough, i see that i have made more posts this month than the entire of 2009. LOL

For our regular readers (all 5 of you), you may notice that we have a new layout! I kinda like this format as it may imply whatever i'm writing is backed up by books *sagely pause* hmmmmm.

Am also in the process using the labelling system, so i'll use that little widget once more posts have been labelled. Updates to follow!

There may be no tomorrow...

The above came to mind when i saw tomorrow.sg still listed in my bloglines feed.

The last post was 31 May and since then, I have submitted a couple of articles relating to Singapore for approval but still no updates.

Either:
Singapore is so exciting that the standard of my articles is not enough to pique the editors' interests (i think there more than 1 editor at large needs to approve each submission);
or
the submission mechanism at tomorrow is spoyr (i.e. not working, for those non-Singlish readers) and no one from the editors has noticed the darth of submissions;
or
tomorrow.sg is dying a slow death. Maybe it can be reborn as a better tomorrow? LOL

blogging hiatus

Have been holding off on all posts in memory of a friend who passed away, it may seem like a silly thing, but he had such a huge online presence (at least to me) that i just wanted to maintain silence for a hundred days to remember him.

So lots of things been happening in the meantime of course, so i'll try to catch up on them as we go along.

normal transmission resumes in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1......